FTER 24 YEARS of marriage, I found myself going
through an unwanted divorce. I would need to sell my car, my home,
and go from running a business with my husband to making little
more than minimum wage. I was devastated and went into a clinical
depression. I was placed in a hospital for two weeks.
first morning I woke up alone in my room, I was so overwhelmed with
fear that I wept uncontrollably. I called to God and asked, “If
you hear me, help me.” There was no vision, no audible voice,
just a peace that filled me. There are no words to express how safe
I felt. From that moment six years ago, there have been many miracles
in my life. There is one that continues to come to my mind and provide
warmth and a smile to me every time I think of it.
When I left the hospital and returned home, I placed
my home on the market and began trying to put my life back together.
It had been several months when a young couple came to look at the
house. They placed a bid and after some time we came to an agreement.
They were to buy the house based on the sale of their home. As time
went by I continued to hope for reconciliation with my husband.
Finally I asked him to spend the day with me, and at the end of
the day I realized there was no hope of restoring the marriage.
That night I told God that I was ready to accept the end of the
marriage and to please move me out of our home; I was ready to let
go of it. This was Sunday night. Tuesday morning my real estate
agent called and said the buyers had sold their home and I would
need to be out in two weeks. After much thanksgiving, the next step
was to find somewhere to live, and quick. My son, who was 22 at
the time and is mildly retarded, was living with me. We lived on
18 acres where he could fish and be outdoors, where he was safe
in familiar surroundings. This had been his home for the last 15
years and I knew it would not be an easy adjustment. We lived 45
minutes away from where I got a job, so I knew we would need to
move closer to save gas and time.
I began looking for an apartment and quickly became
discouraged. The apartments I felt would be safe to leave my son
while I was working had very long waiting lists. While I was driving
around one afternoon, I passed some apartments that I had never
seen before. My immediate thought was this is where I want to live.
I called a friend and before I could tell her, she said I should
go by some apartments I passed last night. I laughed and said I
had just seen them. My elation was short-lived. I called and the
manager informed me there were no vacancies and a very long waiting
list. It would be months, if that soon, before I had any chance
of leasing an apartment.
I had begun attending church after I left the hospital.
God had miraculously intervened many times since that first night
in the hospital, so I decided to ask Him for this apartment. I called
the apartment manager several times during the week just to check
(much to his dismay). Nothing available very long waiting
list. That Sunday I attended church. My church has prayer partners
available to pray with anyone having a need. I intended to ask for
that specific apartment when I realized this was my desire and may
not be where God wanted me to live, so when I went down to pray
I ask God if he would supply a place that would feel like home,
wherever that may be.
After church, my daughter and I were trying to think
of something to do so I told her, “Lets just go see
what the apartment would have looked like.” After the manager
showed us one of the apartments, I jokingly said, because I had
bothered her all week, “
and there arent any available,
right?” She paused for a moment and said, as a matter of fact,
one of the tenants had just given notice and the apartment could
be mine in one week no mention of a waiting list! And for
a bonus, there was a special that month and the deposit was cut
My son and I moved in the next week. To this day
when I think of living there, there is a feeling of warmth. It felt
like home. Different friends and family have said this to me since
we moved. The confirmation, however, came from my son. About a year
after we had moved from the apartment, we were driving along and
he said, “Mom, our apartment was the best place we ever lived.”
He had lost his fishing hole, his security and his fields, but this
little apartment felt like home.
God is faithful. He has proven over and over that
there is nothing He cannot supply. He is there in the darkest hour
just waiting for you to ask. Never give up or let go of your hope.
When I was willing to accept whatever God wanted me to have, He
gave me His best.
CHRISTUS St. Elizabeth Hospital